I had pulled out of the driveway, thankful to be leaving and wanting God so desperately to show me the way. Not unlike George when he prayed in the bar.
As I backed the car up I prayed “ God please meet me at the time share and help me. Help me comeback better then when I left”.
I stopped at a red light about a block from our house, when BAM………..I ran into the car in front of me that was also stopped. I was distracted and when the left hand turn lane next to me went I accelerated into the car in front of me. Since I was already stopped I would guess I was going about 5 miles an hour when I hit them.
I turned the car off, jumped out and I approached the car in front of me. I saw there was no damage to their car, maybe some small scratches from my license plate. A women and a man immediately got out of the car and the man started to scream at me. As I was apologizing he yelled
“How could you be so stupid. I have cancer, I HAVE CANCER. !!!!!! “
“”I need an ambulance!!!! I want the police!!!.
“ Of course you are sorry , YOU HIT ME!!!! I have Cancer and you hit me!!!”
The woman was also upset and angry, but I don’t remember what she said as I was astounded by the man in front of me.
He was waving his arms and holding his neck and moaning in pain. Thankfully across the street was a police car and she came over and asked us to pull aside and exchange information in the parking lot. When we pulled over the man kept insisting he needed an ambulance that he was injured. The paramedics and the fire department were called. While we waited for them to show up I began to cry.
I felt terrible. I did feel stupid and sorry and sad. I felt bad for the man and woman and I also felt something else…….. Anger.
I was angry that this man was SO freaked out.
He kinda looked like this:
Or maybe like this:
But really like this:
A month before the exact same accident happened to your sister and me. We were stopped at a red light and the car behind us went when the left hand turn lane went. I got out, and looked at my bumper, no damage just some small scratches, practically identical to the ones on the car I hit, and your sister was fine. I just waved at the driver got back in my car and drove off.
I’m not trying to minimize the man’s pain. I believe he really was hurt. I don’t think you react that way if you are not in pain. But I kept thinking, why was he was telling each new police officer that arrived on the scene he had Cancer?
Was he angry he had been hit? Obviously! Scared? Probably! One moment he’s sitting at the light and then BAM …..hit from behind.
Finally the paramedics showed up. As they spoke to the man I overheard two police officers asking why the paramedics were called in the first place. They looked at the man and then the non-existence damage on the cars and then each other. Then one said to the other “He has Cancer”, they nodded at each other and shrugged their shoulders.
In the end the man didn’t go with the paramedics and the police suggested that both the other driver and myself try and work this out. In their opinion there was no damage to either vehicle and the man had declined treatment at the scene. I was still crying and feeling somewhat attacked and angry.
I felt like George Bailey in the bar. I had prayed and the result was I got in a car accident leaving for my week away.
I thought “Really God?”
“ Are you kidding? “
I felt like I was drowning and was thrown a stone.
Although shaken I drove to the time-share so graciously donated to me so I could retreat and re-group. But the accident and the man’s reaction kept playing over and over in my mind. I fluctuated from being angry that he so overreacted to feeling sorry that I had put him through this.
Something kept nagging at me but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I slept fitfully the first night.
In the morning I read and prayed and then decided to catch up with e-mails. After I finished I decided to head over to YouTube and for some reason I clicked on a link to “It’s a Wonderful Life”
There was the whole movie in HD in 14 chapters. Did you know YouTube has whole movies on there? I didn’t. Anyway about halfway through things became clearer to me and the nagging went away.
I realized I was the man in the accident., that I had been acting and reacting the same way for the past 9 months.
Which means I looked like this:
Or maybe like this:
But really like this:
I hadn’t seen it before because I felt morally superior because I hadn’t reacted when I had been hit from behind. I reasoned that if your sister who has a brain tumor didn’t care and I didn’t care; what was this guy so flipped out about? I kept thinking of the similarities to all three of us. George Bailey, the man I hit and myself.
We all were at our limit. George after of all the good he’d done at the expense of his dreams. All the things he’s sacrificed and how instead of being rewarded his life continued to get harder. George had a list, a scorecard if you will, a scorecard of all the reasons why he shouldn’t have to suffer one more thing.
I thought of the man in the car and while I didn’t know his story, I do know his list had Cancer at the top. If you have Cancer then you shouldn’t have to suffer one more thing. You should be able to drive and run errands without being worried about being hit from behind.
Then I thought of my scorecard and I began to cry.
To Be Continued:
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